I haven’t blogged for a long,long time because I had no material to share with anyone. The past month has been quite bitter-sweet as I haven’t been able to do much with my life. For starters I got really sick when my roomie left for Pakistan. I was quite happy when he was going coz I thought I would have a great time. Unfortunately my happiness was short lived as the flu sapped all my strength and kept me in bed for nearly  a week (though I am contradicting this statement by letting you all know that I spread my germs around by going out to get stuff). That must be one of the reasons why it took me longer to recover from the flu. It was a lousy feeling staying at home doing nothing except watch tv (let’s just say that i finally caught up with Gossip Girl, True Blood, Burn Notice and all the other series I had missed), fill out applications and tweet. There were times when I did not feel like doing anything nor did I feel like calling anyone or tweeting. My moods were up and down like the stock market and there was no way for me to control it. That is the time when one is in a deep dark place as you have no control over your emotions. That is also the time when your friends mysteriously disappear and you are left to fend for yourselves. However that is also the time when you don’t feel like burdening your friends with your problems as that’s not so cool. I have done that a lot in the past and never come up with any solutions. People don’t like whiny friends who cant take control of their life. I felt like I was going through a dark, long tunnel and I would fall into an abyss of no hope. My feelings were so strong I felt like like taking an overdose of something just so I could end it all (however I dont think I would do that as it was just a thought and I don’t give up so easily. It was just a thought generated by an idle hand). I am pretty sure I shared some of my deep dark thoughts with everyone on twitter. One cant explain these thoughts as they are pretty random and you can’t do much about it. Radiohead was right to say the drugs dont work (I am not a user though I dont mind anti-depressants).I am pretty sure this post does not make any sense but then that’s not the purpose. I just want to get these ugly thoughts out of my head and to start afresh. They say that every dark cloud has a silver lining and every bad period is followed by a good period (I certainly hope so)

 

 

What is Class?

According to Wikipedia (yes Wikipedia is my source of information Social classes are the hierarchical arrangements of people in society as economic or cultural groups. I do not believe in the theory that people belong to a particular class as it does nothing but create problems. These class differences also lead to severe complex problems which have a long term effect on the psyche of people. My post is not going to preach the differences between rich and poor or explain why we should abolish the class system coz I think that topic has been done to death and no one bothers doing anything about it. I don’t believe in it but that does not mean I am gonna launch a crusade to stop people from believing in it. There will always be people who will be trying to keep up with the Joneses or resort to oneupmanship. This happens nearly everywhere and I think it’s a very vulgar display of wealth(or if they dont have any wealth then it can be classified as the worst case of social climbing).

Anyway I am gonna stop before I lose track of what I want to discuss here. I have been very active on twitter lately and that has been a good thing as I get to interact with a lot of people. One of the tweeters Marvi Sirmed shared her latest blog with people on her list. http://coffeewithmarvi.blogspot.com/2009/10/are-we-losers.html

I would like everyone to visit her blog so they can read what she has written. I was quite shocked when I checked out the video on her blog.To cut a long story short I was appalled by what I saw as the girl crossed all her limits to get her 15 minutes of fame. She got a dose of her own medicine after she dissed her own motherland (our beloved nation Pakistan) by labeling us all as losers. It is sad that people are so complexed that they think that speaking in urdu is beneath them, living in a posh area will make them more accessible to everything and wearing western attire will make them instantly popular. There is nothing wrong with being fluent in your national language.Infact our national language is part of our identity. There is nothing wrong with the English language as it is a universal language and spoken in a large number of countries (though not everywhere).It is sad that some people are so complexed that they will speak in English (even if they have the phoniest accents) mainly coz they just want to fit in. Then there are some who are complexed about the area they live in coz it’s not a classy area. Why do they behave that way? Is it because they are mislead by all the imagery they see in the media? Is it because they feel deprived and wish they could lead a better life if they did something to make them cool?

I am glad to say that I can speak urdu really well(though I dont know some of the difficult words but then I try to learn). I can speak my mother tongue (Pashto) even though I am not so fluent (though I try and learn).  Those people who speak to me in urdu get a response in urdu (same goes for english and pashto). I am a Muslim, Pakistani and then I am Pathan but then at the end of the day my allegiance is towards my religion and my Pakistan. Fine people may say that I am far far away and not spending my time in Pakistan. I dont have any problems with Pakistan as it is my home but then I am not there for personal reasons. I may be far away but my heart belongs there. I guess I have written too much about myself so it’s time to switch to the main topic before my train of thought loses steam.

My point is that living in a posh area, wearing western attire and an english accent are not enough to act classy. A true human being is one who acts in a proper dignified manner and makes the best of his/her surroundings. One should act the way they were brought up. There is nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself but then one should not be ashamed of his/her roots at the same time. I fail to understand why people think that all people who live in posh areas have the best of both worlds. They are human beings like the rest of us and have lives as well. Some morons have this belief that people who live in posh areas party all the time, lead a good life and have no worries. Wake up folks, they are humans like the rest of us. It all depends on how a person has been brought up. There are good and bad people everywhere in the world. You cant classify people by the area they live in. I am sure one has heard conversations which go like “oh this kid is horrible. he is into drugs, alcohol and partying. He must be a resident of Defence”.  I dont want to go on and on but then people automatically assume that all the sins of the world are committed in one particular area. That is a very stupid way for them to think and I think it’s time for them to think outside the box. I know i am not being very clear but then I said i dont want to be very preachy.It’s just my point of view which I am writing down without taking time to edit it. Parents play the biggest part in raising their kids. If they are gonna act like social climbers with a massive inferiority complex it’s gonna affect their kids. If they have a superiority complex their kids are gonna act snooty. Money and class do not buy manners nor do a lack of money and social stature.

 

I cant think of anything else to write so I am gonna end it here.

I have been meaning  to dedicate a post to my Tweeple (people who I follow on Twitter) since quite a long time. However my plans to watch TV, Surf the net, Tweet, Chat with my friends, socialize with my local friends always come in the way. Twitter has helped me make a lot of friends for some reason. It puts Facebook to shame when it comes to interactivity. I have become very active on twitter which is most unlike me as I never used to do this sort of thing before. The only thing I had to my credit was my blog which I started in late 2003. My blog used to be hosted on Blogspot as it was the only good free host back then. Thanks to my frequent blog posts I got a gmail invite back in 2004 when they started out. My blog has and always will be dedicated to me as I believe that I have a lot I can share with people (Yes I know I am narcissistic and have a short attention span when it comes to others). My blog had a small cult following as people actually loved what I wrote (that was surprising as I never thought I was a good writer). One of my earliest fans was Dr Awab (better known as Teeth Maestro) who started off with a small blog on Blogspot as well. Let’s just say that his audience grew while mine remained the same as I had a lot to hide  while he had a lot of relevant stuff to share with the world. It’s weird how much I wanted to hide myself from the world despite talking about my own personal life and it’s interlinked problems.  My brother was right when he claimed I was very phobic as I did not achieve much. It’s funny that no one in my family knows that I have a blog (though my sister found my blog 2 years back but then she didnt bother reading most of my posts). It was this fear which stopped me from allowing any search engine to index my blog or to even let Dr Awab put my blog on his blogroll (though i persuaded him to put me back on it later). It’s been six years since I started my blog and I should have gone places but then I am still at square one.

I was so obsessed with privacy that my Facebook privacy settings were set to be ultra-high (yeah i know that was absurd). Some of my cousins couldn’t find me at all so they had to email me to ask me to add them. I used to be obsessed with Facebook as I spent a lot of time there doing stuff. Then I ended up linking my twitter account (which I created in 2007 but seldom used as there was hardly anyone I knew on twitter. I will come to that later) to Facebook earlier this year. It was a very  bad decision on my part as it ended up annoying a lot of people on Facebook thanks to my constant tweeting. I guess that was one reason why I was unable to tweet so much as I did not want to annoy anyone ( I should have used my common use to uninstall the app from my Facebook). My brother got really annoyed when I tweeted my reactions and various plot lines while watching “Drag me to Hell”. He threatened to delete me from Facebook if I resorted to similar tactics in the future (he is the sort who hates spoilers though I did not give away any details except for the part when the lead killed the cute kitty cat).

The worst was during the T20 Worldcup when I got so carried away that my Facebook page was full of updates (thanks to twitter). Fortunately Dr Awab helped me out there as he installed the selective twitter application ( I followed suit as usual) which doesn’t  send out your tweets as updates unless one uses the #fb hashtag.  This was when my Twitter life actually started as I did not have to worry about pissing anyone off.

The T20 was just the beginning of my new found love for twitter (which i had abandoned ever since i signed up for it a couple of years back).  I have been very lucky to find a large number of interesting people on Twitter from Pakistan. I already knew Dr Awab but then I was not familiar with most of the other tweeple. It was Dr Awab who asked me to turn my Display Picture Green for the Go Green campaign initiated by Rumaisa Mohani and Farhan Masood ( I hope I am giving credit to where it’s due). That was when I got to meet more interesting people and share my thoughts and ideas via tweets. The Go Green was a turning point in my life as it showed me how much love our people have for Pakistan. I was also pleasantly surprised to find Max Robinson and Joanna Vroom who had also adopted a Go Green background for the Independence Day Celebrations. It touched me to a great extent to find out that there are so many people who love Pakistan even if they were not born there. I guess this experiment proved that there is a lot of love in the world and if there was unity amongst everyone, there would be no problems. This experiment proved to be so successful that a large number of people changed their display pictures on facebook and twitter to celebrate Independence Day. I had a lot of fun tweeting for Pakistan and adding the #Pakistan hash tag with all my tweets. It was during all my tweeting that I managed to interact with so many people such as faisal Kapadia, Sana Saleem, Ayeshah Alam, Naveen Naqvi, Bina Shah, Blessed Ayesha, Rumaisa Mohani, Farhan Masood,Jehan Ara, Farihaak, ejaz asi, zyenab, joannav40, max robinson, sksuper, khanidea, marvi memon, rabia garib,calyps, faisal qureshi,  xabeen,iftiherkh, nofil naqvi ( I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone) These are the regulars I usually tweet with as they are quite interesting. It makes me feel glad that there is a platform for me to discuss issues with various people. I give brownie points to Naveen Naqvi for using twitter to read about comments on BAD ( I am also grateful that my comments are worthy that she reads them on Breakfast with Dawn). She is my favorite morning show host (not flattery) as she knows her job. My other favorite celeb is Ayeshah Alam who is very sweet and responds to all my tweets. She is very down to earth and quite refined. Rabia Garib and Jehan Ara are two of my favorite power personalities. They are also very sweet and easy to tweet with. Faisal Kapadia and Dr Awab are two people I have a lot of fun interacting with. Dr Awab is always tweeting about his love for caffeine and I am always taking the piss out of him. Faisal Kapadia is a cool guy to tweet with as he knows what he is talking about. I usually make veiled drug related references when I am talking to him ( Hence the reason why I suggested the name “Stoner and the Geek” for their then yet to be  titled show “The Laidback Show”.)

Nofil Naqvi is the only DJ ( I refuse to call him an RJ coz that’s a very Indian word) I know of who actually takes requests for music to be played on his show. Sana Saleem is one of the best bloggers on the twitterverse and I always look forward to her blog updates. Marvi Memon is the only Pakistani politician ( the only one I am aware of ) who tweets about the happenings in the National Assembly and various other issues. I actually look forward to her tweets as they are quite informative and allow us to interact with her with our point of view.

Anyway I cant talk about everyone in my blog as it would fill up the whole page. My point is that I feel like the people I interact with on twitter are like members of my family who I look forward to interacting with everyday. It has definitely brought the world closer and allowed me to look at in a whole new way.

Thank you for everything Twitter.

I had a very interesting day as I got to travel after a long time. I dont count my trip to Heathrow as travel coz I did not venture out during my journey to the west.  The purpose of my trip was to meet my friend in Croydon. There was no excuse for me to say no as I have plenty of time on my hands now. I only had to change one train, catch the central line to oxford circus, take the victoria line to victoria, board the train to east croydon and take the bus to his place. On my way to Croydon I reminisced about my time in the south. There was a time when I was in love with South London and the suburb as my friends used to live there. All the memories were floating about in my head in the form of a cheesy 80s montage (the one you see in movies). Sadly when friends drift apart and ties are estranged there is no reason for one to stay in that area. On my way to Croydon I realised how much I have missed the real world. I have spent so much time in my cocoon that i keep forgetting that I live in Greater London (Ilford is kinda part of London I guess). I stopped off at Clapham Junction to take the bus to Tooting to meet my aunty. That was the moment when it dawned on me that I have missed out on London. It reminded me of the time when the helpdesk lady at uni told me that she felt sorry for international students as they missed out on the London experience as people stick to their own cliques. One should mix with people from different cultures instead of just sticking to your own kind.I should have the best of both worlds instead of just sticking to my desi world. There is a big difference between the desi areas and the regular areas in London. I don’t mean to offend anyone but it was actually nice to see white people after a long time. I hardly get to see any white people in my area as the majority are all Asian. It’s not as if my world will change if i interact with people from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds but then it will keep me grounded and let me learn more about other people. I guess some people are right when they insist that immigrants should learn more about the English culture and assimilate amongst the local folks instead of adopting a ghetto style mentality. They dont have to give up their culture if they assimilate and make more contributions to the local community. The key is to balance everything and show that they belong here. This will make things easier in the longer run. I believe that this trip was an eye opener for me. I should not stay cocooned in my own world as it will not help me. There is the need for me to venture out and do new things instead of simply being glued to my laptop all day. My weekends should be spent visiting new places and doing something interesting. My brain will not learn anything new if I act like an old fart.

The recession has affected our lives in a good and bad way. In a way it was good that the world learned a valuable lesson about money. I remember the times when people used to spend money left, right and centre without looking at the bigger picture. Does anyone remember all those projects in Dubai? They must have wasted billions of dollars on worthless projects which only put them on the front page of newspapers but failed to do anything for them in the long term. Everyone simply got too greedy for the dough and that’s where they lost their souls. Bankers got too reckless and made a lot of risky bets which did not pay off in the end. It’s true when they say that money is the key to everything. People will do anything for money as they cant live without it. Icant pretend to have no love for money as I need it to survive. However I am not gonna do something illegal to make money as I have a conscience. There were times when I was tempted to do something not so kosher to make some money as I had nothing in my pocket. Fortunately Allah saved me from all that and helped me overcome that hard time.

I can’t believe I am unemployed once again. This is the third time in a year that I have lost my job.Actually the first  job I quit was mainly coz my boss was a major diva who drove me bonkers. It’s a good thing i knew that my current job was not safe as I kept dreaming about it everyday. The industry I was working for is going to a steady decline and there is no hope for it as the market has already gotten over saturated. I wanted to quit that job ages ago but for some reason my director wouldn’t let me quit and begged me to come back. It was quite a shock to my system when I received a phone call from my manager telling me not to report to work on Monday. It wasn’t so bad for me at first as I shrugged it off. However it wasn’t so great as the day progressed along mainly coz I was in denial about what happened. It sucks being unemployed coz you have to wait for someone to hire you and there are no pay checks coming your way. The only fear I have is that I might not find a job and I wont be able to save any money. I will have to dip into my savings again till I find a job and that means I won’t be able to visit Pakistan in january as i had originally planned.

I guess this means for some reason I am destined to find something new. I always knew that job was just keeping me afloat till I find something I love. My fear is that i might get too old before I actually find something I love. What if I am stuck with odd jobs for the rest of the life and I can never start my career as I hope to? Am I on the right path or should I try something new? What are my strengths and weaknesses? Will I ever get married or do I remain a bachelor for life? Am I a slacker or am I going through a spell of bad luck? Does this new development mean that something better will come along?

I pray that something positive happens in my life soon. At least I feel good that i am Independent and that I am responsible for everything. I have to bear the consequences no matter what happens. Failure and Success are a part of life and I am learning my lessons the hard way. InshAllah with hard work and determination I am sure I can make things happen. As Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush (no relation to George Bush) sang “Don’t give up” I definitely wont.

What is an alternate reality? An alternate reality is defined as a separate reality which co-exists in tandem with the current reality. There is no scientific explanation nor has it been proven but then it hasn’t stopped sci-fi writers from writing about it. I believe that there could be multiple alternate realities out there but then I have been conditioned in such a way that it’s gonna take a lot for me to actually believe what I think. I know that last statement was a bit confusing and contradicts itself. There are times when I wonder how my life would have been had I been living in an alternate world.

My alternate reality would probably be Utopian where nothing would go wrong. Perhaps in that world I would not have made many mistakes. I would have had a very normal childhood where I did get to spend a lot of quality time with both my parents instead of leading a life of solitude. My dad would have been the sort of person who would actually deliver on his promises and take us out for family outings. Life would be so good that my mum would have never sent me off to get tutored by our neighbor. Maybe that would have affected my ability to communicate with people but then at least I would get to spend my afternoons at home instead of staying away. In my world I would be able to do no wrong and would be able to achieve everything I desired. Life would be so good that there would be no crime at all. Terrorism would not exist as people of all races would get along with each other. Life would be so good that people could stay out late for hours without worrying about being maimed, robbed or murdered. In my reality Karachi would be a safe city where people could leave their houses unlocked, leave their possessions in their car without locking it and a place where people from different ethnic backgrounds would get along with each other.

Maybe in that reality my brother would have been alive and leading a healthy life. He would have gone on to marry, start his career as a diplomat working for the UN or maybe he would have gone on to become a documentary film maker. He would have been there to support me through all my trials and tribulations.

I am pretty sure I would not have gone on to study at Informatics nor would I have wasted 3 years of my life over there. I would have focused on my academics which would have guaranteed me a place at  a proper university where I would have gotten a proper education.

I could go on and on but then you all get the drift. It is a bit too much to dream of a perfect life in a perfect place where one could do things differently. Life is for living and one has to go through ups and downs in order to lead a proper life. I know it sounds clichéd but then that’s what life is all about. Life is full of cliches and there is nothing we can do about it. I know it’s all wishful thinking but then what can one do. I am a dreamer who doesnt do anything practical so all I can do is to imagine a world where everything is perfect.

This weekend has been a mixed bag for me so far. I was planning on writing about something else but then I got really depressed  so I put that idea on the backburner.

It’s really annoying when the weather changes unexpectedly to fit in with your state of mind. Why couldn’t it be nice and sunny when I was down and depressed? I wish it was not dark and cloudy when I was feeling down in the dumps.  Cloudy weather usually cheers me up but then Gloomy Friday was an exception.  I took a day off from work so I could drop my best buddy to the airport . He was too embarrassed to ask someone to accompany him (actually he just needed someone to help him with his luggage as we were traveling via the London Underground). I hate dropping people off to the airport (restricted only to International Flights)  because it’s tough to say goodbye to your loved ones and friends.

The part about airports is that they get me too emotional. I watched my friend Check-in with a very heavy heart as a part of me was wishing it were me leaving on that jet plane. That was the moment when I felt homesick and wishing I could meet my family. The funny bit is that I have not felt home sick in a very long time .I don’t think of my family so much so that it makes it easier for me to cope with everything here. I guess I also felt bad that I was unable to attend my buddy’s wedding as he does not have any close friends one needs to liven up a wedding. That should motivate me to pick up some extra assignments so I can take a break in January. The only thing is that I wont let anyone drop me off to the airport coz then it makes me feel guilty for leaving my friends over here ( yeah i am that crazy. I cant make up my mind).

Word of Caution: Some of the material here may be offensive to some prudes. If you do want to read this then you have the option of leaving before you get offended.

The worst part about living far far away from your home is that you miss out on a lot of stuff. I would not have been in sync with all the events in Pakistan if it weren’t for mum and twitter. There was this story making the rounds all over the Pakistani Media (who in their own typical way blew it out of proportion) regarding Sex Education Controversy at Habib Girls School in Karachi, Pakistan. If it weren’t for all those tweets about the controversy I wouldn’t have know anything. A well respected blogger SS wrote a balanced piece about the controversy on her blog. Unfortunately a number of prudish people did not take kindly to her piece and left a lot of nasty comments on her blog. It saddens me to know that our people are in denial about everything. They will not accept the truth in any shape or form as they are too stuck up their own asses to believe anything.  There is no point in reasoning with them as they will not listen and will probably brand you as someone who is pro-western and has lost his/her values or something in those lines.

I decided to do my own research about this controversy so I could see what the fuss was all about.  It was not surprising to find a number of forums and websites talking about this so called sex education controversy in a “civil” tone. The media blew the whole incident out of proportion as they probably did not have any interesting stories to cover that week. They have become totally irresponsible and have actually ruined what could be one of the most positive stories of the year.

Apparently the whole “scandal” emerged when the school introduced a science textbook which included a chapter in sex education.  Some of the students and their parents protested against the chapter as they assumed it would corrupt young, innocent minds.  The school retaliated by expelling those “trouble makers” blah blah blah. Apparently sex education is against our culture and children should remain in the dark ages (Great so we should never progress) . The school in question was a bloody Girls school (not some co-ed school where the girls would have been embarrassed to learn about in front of their male peers) . It is not as if the books contained pornography of some sort. There is nothing embarrassing about teaching safe sex methods, birth control, or reproduction. It reminds of the time in school when our biology teacher totally skipped the reproduction chapter in school as she was too embarrassed to teach us such a controversial chapter. One might that our people have good values as they don’t want to corrupt their child or teach them something bad. Sexual education is not pornography you tight assed morons. It is better for them to learn the A-Z of sex rather than wait for porn or their friends to teach them what they are missing. Now if they miss out on the birth control bit, STD bits how they will ever exercise caution. I believe that the more they know about it the more responsible they will be before they make any decision. Sexual Education is not going to push a child towards sex. Teens are naturally curious about sex anyway in any shape or form. They will go for it regardless of the fact that they receive a sexual education or not. Would it not be better for them to learn about it before they go on to take that step? We can’t claim that they are so pure that they will abstain from sex. Only a fool would believe that no one has had at least one sexual experience in his/her lifetime before he/she got married.

According to Wikipedia, Sex education is a broad term used to describe education about human sexual anatomy, sexual reproduction, sexual intercourse, reproductive health, emotional relations, reproductive rights and responsibilities, contraception, and other aspects of human sexual behaviour. Common avenues for sex education are parents or caregivers, school programs, and public health campaigns.  (No porn if you can see that)

Parents in Pakistan do not teach their children about sexual education as it’s too embarrassing for them to tell them about the facts of life. It’s easy for them to let their kids learn from their friends as they don’t have to bother with the embarrassment of sharing the facts of life. Yeah at the same time those kids are so eager to learn that they resort to checking out porn to find out what they are missing. We all know what happens when teens (who have just reached puberty) can do when they are in that phase. That is the age of experimentation which leads to a lot of life change changing incidents or a lot of bad memories.  I totally respect a person’s right to choose his/her lifestyle as it’s their life not mine.

The Ummat made a big deal out of nothing by writing a one sided piece about the whole incident and portraying the “CEO” as some sort of she-devil whose modern ideas would corrupt the lives of girls. Maybe she should not have imposed her ideas on everyone but then there is nothing wrong in thinking progressively. I feel sorry for all those girls whose tight assed parents have managed to shelter them from learning about something natural.

Our people need to grow up and learn to move ahead with the times. Learning about sex is not going to ruin their character or scar them for life.

Once upon a time there was a man (you can call him a boy coz his mental age is lower than his real age) who used to blog all the time. He couldn’t wait to go online so he could share his thoughts with the rest of the world, whine about all his problems, rant about nearly everything and write something sub-standard. There was a time when his friends used to dread hanging out  with him because they knew that somehow or the other they would be featured in his blog. This person was so secretive about his blog that most of his family members and friends that he had a blog.Anyway 6 years down the road this person got busy which had an adverse effect on his blog as it stayed there gathering virtual dust while his friends rejoiced as they were not gonna be featured in his blog. For some strange reason this person got the courage to share the blog with the rest of the world as he realized there was nothing anyone could do to him.

I am sure you all must have gotten the obvious hints that I am referring to myself . (Yup I put Narcissus to shame as I love myself a lot.)  This blog was supposed to be about my routine and yet I started off with something random yet again. My original plan was to write about something else but then I cant remember what it was.

I am sure no one loves waking up early in the morning to go to work. I loathe waking up in the morning especially if it’s chilly outside and the bed is warm. The best thing about chilly mornings are that you canstay in your bed for a few minutes   snuggled in your duvet (which i havent washed since december 2008. yeah i know that’s too much information) wishing you could take a day off from work. It sucks having to leave your bed, grabbing your shower gel, toothbrush (though no brushing in Ramadan during the roza), face scrub, ex foliating scrub, towel and loofa so you can make the trek to the loo only to find out someone is already in there. I hate knocking on the door and asking the person to hurry up coz it’s not in my nature. It annoys me a great deal when a person takes forever to get ready and that’s what pushes all your buttons and makes you wanna kick the door down in rage (though I dont think it would be a pretty sight if the person inside is violating himself, sitting on the crapper or taking a shower.) There used to be this sleazy guy who lived in our shared house who would shower thrice a day and take an hour each time he used to shower. (no prizes for guessing how much we liked each other:P)  Anyway let’s get back to the topic at hand here. I take around 15-20 minutes to get fresh and to detox before I am ready to face the world. The only thing I hate doing in the morning is to iron my clothes as it takes forever (though I can make it easier for myself by simply ironing my clothes at night to save time. Since I am a Pakistani I am always leaving everything at the last minute as I cant be bothered.) It’s no use ironing my clothes as I never seem to do a good job and my clothes look worse than they did before I ironed them. It doesn’t bother me  as I walk down the high street in my disheveled state without a care in the world (though my colleagues take the piss out of me by telling me I need to employ a maid or get a wife. I think that’s a bit too sexist as you don’t get married just so your wife can take care of you. Some people can be really old fashioned.)  Since it takes me forever to iron my clothes I always loose precious time which eats into the time allocated for the commute to work. Even if I iron my clothes on time, I end up doing something stupid like misplacing my clothes in the pile of clothes in my wardrobe or not being able to find a matching pair of socks (despite the fact that i have around 10 identical pairs of socks). My mum used to tell me that I am the most unorganized person in the world and she still reminds me of that fact when I call her. It’s true that I am unorganized coz i cant be bothered arranging everything as I know i can’t go along with the facade of pretending to be neat and organized as that’s not who I am. There is a lot of chaos in my life simply because i am so scatty and the fact that my handwriting is like as if an ant crawled into an inkwell and walked all over some parchment. The commute isnt bad as I walk to work (which takes me around 10 minutes everyday).It allows me to observe people on the way and make mental notes about them (i have nothing better to do). I am never without my trusty Creative Mp3 player(more superior than a stupid iPod) as it makes the walk more bearable. I did not listen to any music for the first 10 days of Ramadan but then an addict always needs his fix and it was back to square one for me   (forgive me God).

My manager  always gives me grief for being 2-3 minutes late though that’s his job. We dont have to worry about him so much as he is always busy chatting with his friends on FB, checking out videos on youtube, growing crops on Farmville, yakking away with teh director’s wife or simply talking to his friends over the phone. My day goes by fine as I have to keep cold calling random people trying to sell them my product (though our manager does not support us). There are times when I pretend to be on the phone as I get really bored and I dont feel like selling. It’s a good thing our manager is so engrossed in his own lil world that he does not see I am secretly tweeting or reading stuff online. Sometimes my colleague prank calls some random customer (one who had irritated him) and bugs him. It makes me grateful for the fact that you can hide your number while calling someone hehe. I am sure that this would never work in Pakistan hehe. We used to have a break in the pre-Ramadan era but then you dont need two tea breaks and a lunch break in Ramadan do u. Mondays suck as potential customers are always grumpy while Fridays are the best day of the week as we can dress up in casual clothes and go to work. That’s the day when we are really excited as we know we get to enjoy the weekend.

I loathe going home during rush hour as there is a lot of pedestrian traffic at that time. It’s even worse when I go home as I have to tolerate my annoying room mate. Once upon a time I did not need a room mate as I could afford to rent a room on my own. Somehow this silver tongued person emotionally blackmailed me into sharing a room with him so he could save money and yet he continues to annoy me with his personal attacks. I guess I have to be an idiot to share a room with him and listen to his sweet words. However to be fair he has been quite supportive and helped me by paying my share of rent when I was jobless so I guess that balances everything. When I go home I dont feel like doing anything and just feel like stretching out on my bed tweeting, chatting and checking my mail. That’s the time when you should be blogging but then you are so sick and tired of using a computer that you don’t feel like writing anything (though it doesnt bother me so much if I have to chat or tweet) . Then after prayers I sit down to eat something (usually we get some food from the local takeaway or we just make something at home i.e. burger and chips) I eat really fast so I can sit down and watch my favorite sitcom or series ( I have around 200 gb of movies and series I have yet to watch). It bugs me that I dont have the time to play the Sims 3 or to level up my character on World of Warcraft.

So that’s my routine on a weekday. I am too lazy to share information about my routine on a weekend. I can make it very brief .

I sleep most of the day, do my laundry, watch three movies at the cineplex, visit my friend and relax.

Life is not a mystery and we do not stand alone. (I know I am ripping off Madonna but then you can see I tweaked that a bit hehe). We may not know what lies ahead in our life but we go ahead and make the best of it. There are times when we go through the best phase of our lives which is immediately followed by a dip in the graph which reverses one’s fortunes. However I believe that everything is for a reason as there is no such concept as a good or bad time. It is in our minds on how we perceive it. I know I am the worst offender as I whine about all my problems and don’t do anything about it. For some reason everything works out in the end and we can call it a test or blessing that we go through a testing time. Anyway I have drifted from the topic again. I would like to share something with my readers over here.

This incident takes place not so long ago (3 weeks to be precise) when I was going through one of my dark moods. My angst and fury at everyone prompted me to call Mo so I could get some help. We discussed a lot of stuff which actually helped me get through that phase. Mo told me to conduct an exercise and to write down the 100 things I am grateful for in life. Since I had resolved my problem I totally forgot about it till last week when I was watching a movie.  The movie was kinda boring so I started focusing on other stuff i.e. extras, background, etc It made me wonder what sort of lives different people live.  I know that everyone has a different lifestyle and that it comes with a long list of  pros and cons. People are not grateful for what they have and yet they want more. There have been times when I have made a mental list of all the things I am grateful for and it has really helped me.

There was a scene in the movie when I saw a brass band playing during the song. I started to wonder what sort of lives they may be leading. There isnt much money to make playing in a brass band especially in India and Pakistan. These poor guys are barely educated or probably illiterate which is one reason why they have to make a living playing at weddings and other functions which require a brass band. I am sure they dont make so much at the end of the day and they have families to support. That was the moment when I started feeling really bad as I know I have not been grateful on a lot of occasions. This is why I wrote a piece on why i am grateful.

I am grateful for the fact that my grandpa decided to branch out into something a long time back and start his own business at the age of 16. If he had not done that we would have been born in some backward place with no education. I am grateful that my grandpa made sure that my mum and all her siblings got a proper education. If mum had not gotten a proper education I would not have been able to do whatever I have achieved till now. I am grateful that my dad also got a proper education at a proper school (the only one amongst his siblings). If dad weren’t educated he would have never moved out of the small town and into the big leagues. I am grateful for the fact that my folks sent me to the best schools, gave us food, water and shelter over our heads and protected us from all the evils in the world. I am grateful for the fact that my parents were fair but strict and encouraged me to take part in after school activities and to socialize with everyone. I am grateful for the values they instilled in me and the methods they used to discipline me. I am grateful for all the liberties they gave us at home. I am grateful for the fact that my parents arent so possessive and that they let me go off for my higher education. I am so grateful that my parents paid for my expensive tuition fees in London and I did not let them down. I am so grateful that I have parents who are my rock and have been there for me all the way. I am so grateful that I have lovely siblings whom I fight with but love at the same time. I am so grateful that no matter how weird my family can be they will always be there for you during times of need. I am so grateful that Allah has blessed me with all my six senses and the ability to read and write. I may think I am lacking somewhere but I know that I have my own unique personality which makes me special. I am grateful that my health is not poor and that I take good care of myself. I am grateful that I have food and shelter while I am working far far away from home.

These are just some of the things I am grateful for. What are you grateful for?