Once upon a time there was a man (you can call him a boy coz his mental age is lower than his real age) who used to blog all the time. He couldn’t wait to go online so he could share his thoughts with the rest of the world, whine about all his problems, rant about nearly everything and write something sub-standard. There was a time when his friends used to dread hanging out  with him because they knew that somehow or the other they would be featured in his blog. This person was so secretive about his blog that most of his family members and friends that he had a blog.Anyway 6 years down the road this person got busy which had an adverse effect on his blog as it stayed there gathering virtual dust while his friends rejoiced as they were not gonna be featured in his blog. For some strange reason this person got the courage to share the blog with the rest of the world as he realized there was nothing anyone could do to him.

I am sure you all must have gotten the obvious hints that I am referring to myself . (Yup I put Narcissus to shame as I love myself a lot.)  This blog was supposed to be about my routine and yet I started off with something random yet again. My original plan was to write about something else but then I cant remember what it was.

I am sure no one loves waking up early in the morning to go to work. I loathe waking up in the morning especially if it’s chilly outside and the bed is warm. The best thing about chilly mornings are that you canstay in your bed for a few minutes   snuggled in your duvet (which i havent washed since december 2008. yeah i know that’s too much information) wishing you could take a day off from work. It sucks having to leave your bed, grabbing your shower gel, toothbrush (though no brushing in Ramadan during the roza), face scrub, ex foliating scrub, towel and loofa so you can make the trek to the loo only to find out someone is already in there. I hate knocking on the door and asking the person to hurry up coz it’s not in my nature. It annoys me a great deal when a person takes forever to get ready and that’s what pushes all your buttons and makes you wanna kick the door down in rage (though I dont think it would be a pretty sight if the person inside is violating himself, sitting on the crapper or taking a shower.) There used to be this sleazy guy who lived in our shared house who would shower thrice a day and take an hour each time he used to shower. (no prizes for guessing how much we liked each other:P)  Anyway let’s get back to the topic at hand here. I take around 15-20 minutes to get fresh and to detox before I am ready to face the world. The only thing I hate doing in the morning is to iron my clothes as it takes forever (though I can make it easier for myself by simply ironing my clothes at night to save time. Since I am a Pakistani I am always leaving everything at the last minute as I cant be bothered.) It’s no use ironing my clothes as I never seem to do a good job and my clothes look worse than they did before I ironed them. It doesn’t bother me  as I walk down the high street in my disheveled state without a care in the world (though my colleagues take the piss out of me by telling me I need to employ a maid or get a wife. I think that’s a bit too sexist as you don’t get married just so your wife can take care of you. Some people can be really old fashioned.)  Since it takes me forever to iron my clothes I always loose precious time which eats into the time allocated for the commute to work. Even if I iron my clothes on time, I end up doing something stupid like misplacing my clothes in the pile of clothes in my wardrobe or not being able to find a matching pair of socks (despite the fact that i have around 10 identical pairs of socks). My mum used to tell me that I am the most unorganized person in the world and she still reminds me of that fact when I call her. It’s true that I am unorganized coz i cant be bothered arranging everything as I know i can’t go along with the facade of pretending to be neat and organized as that’s not who I am. There is a lot of chaos in my life simply because i am so scatty and the fact that my handwriting is like as if an ant crawled into an inkwell and walked all over some parchment. The commute isnt bad as I walk to work (which takes me around 10 minutes everyday).It allows me to observe people on the way and make mental notes about them (i have nothing better to do). I am never without my trusty Creative Mp3 player(more superior than a stupid iPod) as it makes the walk more bearable. I did not listen to any music for the first 10 days of Ramadan but then an addict always needs his fix and it was back to square one for me   (forgive me God).

My manager  always gives me grief for being 2-3 minutes late though that’s his job. We dont have to worry about him so much as he is always busy chatting with his friends on FB, checking out videos on youtube, growing crops on Farmville, yakking away with teh director’s wife or simply talking to his friends over the phone. My day goes by fine as I have to keep cold calling random people trying to sell them my product (though our manager does not support us). There are times when I pretend to be on the phone as I get really bored and I dont feel like selling. It’s a good thing our manager is so engrossed in his own lil world that he does not see I am secretly tweeting or reading stuff online. Sometimes my colleague prank calls some random customer (one who had irritated him) and bugs him. It makes me grateful for the fact that you can hide your number while calling someone hehe. I am sure that this would never work in Pakistan hehe. We used to have a break in the pre-Ramadan era but then you dont need two tea breaks and a lunch break in Ramadan do u. Mondays suck as potential customers are always grumpy while Fridays are the best day of the week as we can dress up in casual clothes and go to work. That’s the day when we are really excited as we know we get to enjoy the weekend.

I loathe going home during rush hour as there is a lot of pedestrian traffic at that time. It’s even worse when I go home as I have to tolerate my annoying room mate. Once upon a time I did not need a room mate as I could afford to rent a room on my own. Somehow this silver tongued person emotionally blackmailed me into sharing a room with him so he could save money and yet he continues to annoy me with his personal attacks. I guess I have to be an idiot to share a room with him and listen to his sweet words. However to be fair he has been quite supportive and helped me by paying my share of rent when I was jobless so I guess that balances everything. When I go home I dont feel like doing anything and just feel like stretching out on my bed tweeting, chatting and checking my mail. That’s the time when you should be blogging but then you are so sick and tired of using a computer that you don’t feel like writing anything (though it doesnt bother me so much if I have to chat or tweet) . Then after prayers I sit down to eat something (usually we get some food from the local takeaway or we just make something at home i.e. burger and chips) I eat really fast so I can sit down and watch my favorite sitcom or series ( I have around 200 gb of movies and series I have yet to watch). It bugs me that I dont have the time to play the Sims 3 or to level up my character on World of Warcraft.

So that’s my routine on a weekday. I am too lazy to share information about my routine on a weekend. I can make it very brief .

I sleep most of the day, do my laundry, watch three movies at the cineplex, visit my friend and relax.